From s-cwis.unomaha.edu!news.mtholyoke.edu!news.umass.edu!caen!hookup!usenet.eel.ufl.edu!news-feed-1.peachnet.edu!news.duke.edu!zombie.ncsc.mil!paladin.american.edu!howland.reston.ans.net!news.sprintlink.net!news.clark.net!monky Tue Apr 4 21:24:11 1995 Path: s-cwis.unomaha.edu!news.mtholyoke.edu!news.umass.edu!caen!hookup!usenet.eel.ufl.edu!news-feed-1.peachnet.edu!news.duke.edu!zombie.ncsc.mil!paladin.american.edu!howland.reston.ans.net!news.sprintlink.net!news.clark.net!monky From: monky@clark.net (banana) Newsgroups: alt.toys.transformers Subject: Re: Hasbro Scenerio from HELL! Date: 4 Apr 1995 18:51:24 GMT Organization: Clark Internet Services, Inc., Ellicott City, MD USA Lines: 152 Distribution: world Message-ID: <3ls4fc$mol@clarknet.clark.net> References: <3lh36c$ksa@usenetw1.news.prodigy.com> NNTP-Posting-Host: clark.net Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: TEXT/PLAIN; charset=ISO-8859-1 Content-Transfer-Encoding: 8bit X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.2 PL2] Joy Kobasko (TKYR03A@prodigy.com) wrote: : Hi folks... : Here's a little something I penned a while back, about how Hasbro comes : up with their creative ideas. WARNING: this is NOT for the faint of : heart! There, I've said it. Now enjoy it (if you can). : Hey, I can see it now...the planning execs are trying to get a good idea : for : TFin '95-'96...and here's their creative meeting... (imagine a cloudy, : mystical effect here...after all, we are looking into the future... : <>) : Place: The Hasbro HeadHoncho HQ. Looks suspiciously like Decepticon Base. Re "The Hasbro Conspiracy" dub... heheh : ;-) : Setting: Boardroom. Three creative team execs are deciding the future of : Transformers. : Exec 1: Hey, I got a great idea for changing the Transformers to : something : kids will LOVE! You guys gotta hear this...it's so great, I've been : dreaming : about it for WEEKS now!!! : Exec 2 (munching on a doughnut): Well go ahead, Bob. We're on the edge of : our : seats here. : Exec 1: OK, here goes...You know the success Bandai has had with that : Power : Rangers stuff, right? Well here's my idea -- you're gonna LOVE this! -- : Let's : have the Transformers start MORPHING! And we can rename the show: : TransMorphers! Do you have the offices bugged? heh, but seriously this is exactly the way Hasbro's middlemen manage and analyse. If they'd be more original, they wouldn't be losing money now. : Exec 3: Yeah, but what are they gonna morph into? : Exec 1: Uh...hell, I dunno...whatever they turn into now, I guess... : planes : and trucks, things like that. : Exec 2: No, WAIT! We need something new...different...UNIQUE! How about : we : have them morph into...HUMANS! Humans, and animals! : Exec 1: Yeah, that's GREAT!!! That's what we'll go with, then. : Exec 3: Um, excuse me...but did you ever think about how we're gonna : create : these TransMorphers? : Exec 2: Easy...with a Windows-based Mac application designed to create : animated figures. Cheap, and the kids will think it's WAY cool! heheheh But you see, this is one step over Power Rangers toys. Power Rangers do not ever "Morph" to the best of my knowledge... :) : Exec 3: No! I mean, how are we going to make the TOYS? : (uneasy silence) : Exec 1: Aw shit, Frank. Now why'd ya have to bring THAT up? Now we're : just : gonna have to scap the whole idea. : Exec 3: The kids are gonna want TOYS that morph too, you know. : Exec 2: Well, why not just include TWO figures in each toy package...one : robot-looking, and the other kinda human-looking. : Exec 3: Too pricey. We'd have to wholesale them from around $13. No one : would : buy. : Exec 2: Not necessarily, let me finish...we'd make them from thin plastic, : for one. That's a real cost saver right there. THEN, we make them SMALL. : WAY : small...MiniMorphinBots, that sort of thing. And the best cost saver of : all...NO MOVING PARTS. Rubber would substitute.... ;) : Exec 1 (spraying a mouthful of coffee across the table): No moving parts?? : ? : You're out of your fucking mind!!! Why would they be called Transformers : then??!? : Exec 3: Not Transformers, Bob..."TransMorphers MiniMorphinBots!" : Exec 1: Whatever! : Exec 2: Kids have a great imagination. They don't need toys with moving : parts. They can imagine the parts moving! They can also imagine the : "morph" : taking place. Let's say that we have a robot...like that big red guy, : what's : his name... : Exec 3: Optimus Prime. : Exec 2: Yeah, him. Well lets say this is him. (Picks up a glazed : doughnut) : Let's say also that this is what Optimus Prime morphs into. (Takes a : beeper : out of his pocket) And the kid is like, wanting him to morph. All he : needs to : do to create the morphing effect is do this... : (Exec 2 holds the doughnut with his left hand. one inch from his eyes, : and : yells "MORPH!!!". He quickly brings his left hand down, and brings his : right : hand, which holds the beeper, up to his face in the same position.) : Exec 1: Come ON! That's the STUPIDEST piece of shit I've heard outta you : in a : LONG time. Seriously, this is eerie.... :) : Exec 3 (scratching a zit on his chin): No wait, I think he's on to : something : here. We could save a LOT of money this way! : Exec 2: Money that becomes PROFIT for US...because we keep the price the : SAME! : Exec 1: Hmm...maybe I underestimated you. That's not such a bad idea : after : all! : Exec 3: And we could expand to other products as well...videos, coloring : books... : Exec 2: -- We could do a co-op with Kraft! "TransMorphin MiniMorphinBot : Cheesy Macaroni"! : Exec 1: And a breakfast cereal co-op with General Mills! Loaded with : sugar, : of course... : Exec 2: We're going to strike it RICH !! : (Evil, cackling laughter reverberates throughout the halls of Hasbro, Inc. : ) : <> : Hey, don't laugh...it could happen... Well, I'm suprised it hadn't, of course if they were that energetic about selling toys there wouldn't even BE Power Rangers now.