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From: schwark@bgnet.bgsu.edu (Michael Allen Schwark)
Newsgroups: alt.toys.transformers
Subject: RE: TFG2 #28
Date: 17 Apr 1995 16:59:18 GMT
Organization: Bowling Green State University, Bowling Green, OH (USA)
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Reply-To: schwark@bgnet.bgsu.edu (Michael Allen Schwark)
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In a previous article, repowers@artsci.wustl.edu (Robert Edward Powers) says:

>AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! Slaughter!! Arrrrrrrrrg! Not Hot Spot! 
>Nooo, not Trailbreaker! ARRRRR<*BOOOM* as Rob disintegrates under a 
>single blast from Trypticon, with Cyclonus laughing maniacly in the 
>background.>
>
>--
>Robert Powers of the Ever-Changing .sig	   
>repowers@artsci.wustl.edu ____________________
>| ROB'S BIKING GLOSSARY, III                  |
>| four-way stop: traffic sign. May be read as |
>|_"bikers proceed; all others yield."_________|
>

Oh, I can envision the conclusion...

Ultra Magnus: "Oh, the horrible, horrible carnage!!!  Such a terrible 
loss of life!  Whatever can I do now?!"

In the distance, Magnus sees a long-haired man walking towards him, and 
is suddenly overcome buy a feeling of inner peace.

Ultra Magnus: "Who..who are you?"
Qui Chang Cain: "I am... Cain.  What seems to be... the problem?"
Ultra Magnus: "All of the Autobots were...obliterated by that Decepticon 
monstrosity!  All of them, dead! My friends... My compainions..."
Qui Chang Cain: "I will...help...you."

The funny man walks off towards Trypticon, leaving Ultra Magnus to wallow 
in freakish misery.

Ultra Magnus: "Don't be a fool, human.  You'll be destroyed.  You'll 
never survive."
Peter Cain:  "Yeah, I know the feeling.  No matter how many times pop 
faces impossible odds, I always doubt him to..."

After a short walk, Cain arrives at the huge robotic dino.

Trypiticon:  "Wha...?
Cain: "I am... Cain."

Trypticon attepts to scratch his head with his pathetic "arms."

Trypticon:  "You die NOW!"
Cain: "Ah... such...hostility."

Trypticon opens up with every available weapon in his arsenal.  Cain 
calmly dodges and deflects the blows with his bare hands, a true 
demonstration of his Shao Lin Kung-Fu skills.  With a quick sweep of his 
leg, Cain trips Tryp onto his back.

Cain:  "Now... Tell me why... you have harmed... the... Autobots."
Trypticon:  "Cyclonus MADE me do it!"

Cain nods.

Cain:  "Ah... I... see. I will... speak...with this... Cyclonus."

Cyclonus watched in absolute horror (Oh, the horror!) as his mighty 
machine was defeated by this insignificant human. Suddenly, in a puff of 
smoke, Qui Chang Cain appeared behind him.  A brief struggle ensued 
between the two, into which many unknown men in ninja outfits appeared, 
fought briefly, and dissapeared without leaving anything to enhance the 
plot. 

Cyclonus:  "You have bested me, human.  Now, to my great dismay, I will 
swear off all evil deads, and right the wrongs that my people have done."
Cain:  "Yes... and your people...may finally find...peace." 

---

Ultra Magnus:  "Thank you, Cain.  You've avenged the deaths of my 
friends, and brought us all to a better understanding of ourselves and 
the universe.  Where ever did you get such wisdom?"
Cain:  "It is very simple."

Cain opens his chest cavity to reveal the Shao Lin matrix of Kung-Fu wisdom.

Ultra Magnus:  "Truely astounding!"
Cain:  "And now, I must leave you.  Farewell."
Ultra MAgnus:  "Goodbye, Cain.  We'll never forget you.  Whatta guy."
William Shatner:  "Yes...a TRUELY...fantastic man,... but he does talk... 
rather...strangely don't you...think?"
Warpath:  "KA-POW, BLAMM-O, I know where you're ZAP! comin' from BOOM! 
Willie."

			TRANS-FU: The Story Keeps Goin'
				   -The End-


-Yes, one more fine example why genres should never collide, lest we face 
the horrible, HORRIBLE, horrible (Do I note a trend here? Nah!) horrible 
consequences.
-- 
Quote: "Could we be heading towards a conclusion that unites Atlantis, 
UFOs, Stonehenge, cattle-mutilation, the Psychic Friends Network, and 
disco music into a grand unified conspiracy theory?"-Chris Lombardi/CGW
Mike Schwark/Mauler@TF1?/Rumble@CWTS/Reivax@F.R./schwark@bgnet.bgsu.edu